tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-85324330528824013572024-03-13T08:09:32.352-07:00JourneyMomma Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07308516439359187703noreply@blogger.comBlogger63125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532433052882401357.post-53654826429005796132011-04-05T05:23:00.000-07:002011-04-05T05:35:45.902-07:00MS and My Oldest DaughterLife is stressful enough when your going to college and raising a teenager and then you get a phone call from one of your other children and they are going to the hospital, so you leave class early to go be with you kid, as they check her over, doing blood work, a CT Scan and then an MRI and they come in and tell you MS, not at all what you are expecting, your thinking a pinched nerve something of that nature, so you go home thinking your prepared for the next few doctors visits and then you run into a moron that shouldn't even be practicing medicine and they just cause your child an extreme amount of stress and of course my blood pressure is rising because I really want to tell the doctor what I think of them, but I won't add that to what my kid is already dealing with, so we leave, we make the best of the situation, but then I get a call yesterday and she is not doing well, her symptoms are worsening and so off we go again to the ER and thank God we get the same doctor from our first visit to the ER, she is amazing at the way she handles my daughter, helping her to calm down, she goes an consults with the Neurologists, they increase one of her medication and put her on soemthing for all the dizziness she is experiencing, all that they can do right now is to manage the symptoms until we go to the neurologists appointment, which we are still waiting on. It is hard to see your child deal with all of this, it is even harder when ti hasn't really sunk in that your child has MS, especially because we don't know what to expect, what treatment they will deem the best for her, with this disease there are so many unknowns because everyone is different. I am having a hard time processing this, it still doesn't seem real for me. The doctor did tell my daughter to get into a support group, I am hoping that will help her. I may need to find one myself, maybe between my journaling and blogging I will find my way. Because I know my child so well I think we are in for a bit of a bumpy ride. God give me strength and wisdom. Iwant to yell and scream but it won't change or fix anything but maybe then I would really feel something, right now I feel numb inside.Momma Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07308516439359187703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532433052882401357.post-28564367825864173762011-01-13T16:36:00.000-08:002011-01-13T16:48:55.341-08:00GoalsHow important are goals? They are extremely important. How will you ever reach one if you never set any. How will you know what your potential is without setting goals. Without goals you will just be living life hoping that you end up somewhere (somewhere good), of course that isn't always the case. One of the goals I set a year and a half ago was to go to culinary school and here I am a year and a half later, half way through.<br /><br />I set a goal for this year to lose weight and hear I am on day 1 of a new healthy way of eating, it's not about a diet it is about getting healthy and to be healthy you have to eat healthy and a benefit of that is weight loss.<br /><br />My goals for this year lose the weight and finish two more semesters of school. My goal with in finishing school is to come out with a 3.8 GPA, this last semester I had a 4.0 so my goal is so possible.<br /><br />I am going to set down in the next few days and set some other goals for myself for this year. At least this way I am not just existing hoping life happens to me, I am living my life reaching for my dreams. I will add some of my other goals to this blog and at the end of the year I will update on how I have progressed.Momma Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07308516439359187703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532433052882401357.post-43766931747120856002011-01-11T15:31:00.000-08:002011-01-11T15:41:09.047-08:00Books Picked UpA week from today I start my 4th semester of college, that means that 3 of them are behind me. I am looking forward to this semester. I have 2 baking classes and a chocolate class, these types of classes are not stressful for me they are fun and allow for my creativity to come out. Thank God last semester is behind me--I hope to never experience that much stress again. It was more stressful than my bought with cancer.<br /><br />I have my notebooks organized and I have been looking through my books and am excited to learn some new skills. I love baking breads so to learn some new tricks and new types of breads is exciting to me. I have my pens and pencils gathered, back pack is ready now to place the books in that I will need for my first day of class.Momma Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07308516439359187703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532433052882401357.post-56998591758634260112011-01-09T19:14:00.000-08:002011-01-09T19:28:27.830-08:004 Years and Counting and of course ChangesI went to the Oncologist on the 29th of December, blood work and x-rays. No sign of the cancer returning and this is without chemo or radiation. I haven't done the best when eating to stay healthy, exercise or even the right mental attitude, but each day I get up and try again. I pray and trust that God will guide me, but it is still up to me to follow His guidance. Some days I do well and other days I fall short and thank God he never gives up on me. Thank God I can continue on the path that lays before me. I have the chance to finish school, see my granddaughter grow and change every day. My husband and I actually have some plans for our future. We have also asked my mother in-law to move in with us. Of course she needs some time to think about it, she has lived by herself for a long while now, but I hope she chooses to move in with so that she won't be alone, she will still have her privacy. I would look forward to being able to spend more time with her. Then we are waiting to see how things are going to turn out for and with my father in-law. At this point the only thing we can do is pray and encourage him and of course let him know that we are here for him. Life sure has a lot of turns.Momma Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07308516439359187703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532433052882401357.post-16794317400167541502011-01-08T06:40:00.000-08:002011-01-08T07:02:45.156-08:00Who Am II am God's Child<br />I am a wife<br />I am a mother<br />I am a birthmother<br />I am a grandmother<br />I am a daughter<br />I am a daughter in-law<br />I am a friend<br />I am a student<br />I am a listener (confidant)<br />I am a writer<br />I am a survivor (of breast cancer, abuse and other things)<br />I am a hard worker<br />I am honest (with myself and others)<br />I am there for my friends<br />I am serious<br />I am spontaneous<br />I am a homeowner<br />I am confident<br />I am always up to a challenge<br />I am straight forward<br />I am young at heart<br />I am imaginative<br />I am a great cook<br />I am optimistic<br />I am always looking at the glass half full<br />I am writing a book<br />I am a lover of music<br />I am a lover of life<br />I am who I amMomma Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07308516439359187703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532433052882401357.post-22502976555866050772011-01-06T15:18:00.000-08:002011-01-06T15:22:24.173-08:00Made it out of the house...After being sick for a week I was finally able to venture out of the house, it felt really good to be out of bed, dressed with a little make up on to cover up the fact that I am still a little pale. My daughter and granddaughter joined me for my adventure today. We shopped (mostly looking), had lunch with my husband, my brother in-law and my father in-law and then Shay and I were off to shop some more, mainly bought supplies for next semester. The only thing that I have left to do is to pick up my books on Monday, find out when my work study begins and I am ready for the semester to begin.Momma Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07308516439359187703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532433052882401357.post-59328698106244971032011-01-05T16:51:00.000-08:002011-01-05T17:02:28.290-08:00My Journey ContinuesI have had a break from school for about two weeks now and one week I spent in bed sick. I have gotten my office and desk organized for next semester which starts in two weeks. Like every semester I was ready for the last one to end but now I am ready for the next one to begin. This will be a very different semester than the last, a more relaxed one for sure. I have two baking classes and a chocolate class and I am looking forward to those. My other classes are harder but necessary.<br /><br />As with anything in life things are subject to change and both Shay and I are ready to live somewhere warmer and in a place that offers more things to do, so our business may get opened up in another state before everything is said and done. The one thing that will keep in Missouri is my parents and my mom in-law because they will need us for a while longer, but alas that is also part of the journey.<br /><br />This semester I will be doing work study so I believe that it will bring with it new opportunities and I am sure I will learn things that I am not even expecting. I am just thankful to have a journey to continue.<br /><br />In the next week I will be buying additional school supplies and getting my notebook ready. Even with all of the challenges that I have faced this semester I have gained knowledge that I would not of had and I know that it will profit me as I continue.<br /><br />This is all I have today, so until the next time.Momma Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07308516439359187703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532433052882401357.post-56654206650804216572010-10-02T19:05:00.001-07:002010-10-02T19:13:29.422-07:00It's been awhileIt's been awhile since I had the time to sit down and put thoughts on this blog. This has been my busiest semester so far and toughest. I have even come across an instructor that takes everything out of me, sometimes I have to make myself go to class, but I refuse to give up or to be defeated.<br />I love what I have chosen to do with my future but there are those that make it difficult to keep heading in that direction, this instructor even brought me to tears which is really hard to do. I almost walked out of class and for that matter I almost quit school, but I am not a quitter so I will keep moving forward. Life always presents it's challenges. I could probably go on and on, but that won't solve or change anything, so suffice it to say this has been a tough week and I am glad it is over!!!!!!!!Momma Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07308516439359187703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532433052882401357.post-4001095858593502702010-08-26T18:31:00.000-07:002010-08-26T18:36:47.709-07:00OkayThe first week is over and I have chosen to relax tonight and hit the books tomorrow, my head is swimming with information after sitting through lectures for the last 3 days. It is a good thing that I take a lot of notes so that I can go back and review. With the classes that I have this semester I will want to keep all the information that I obtain and then I can go back and gleen from it when I am ready to open my own business. I will have opportunities to run the front of the house of the restaurant on campus, as well as hostess, serve and wash a few dishes. Dishes will seem like the safest place to be I am sure, but I will gain more knowledge being out on the floor. I am a little nervous, but I am also looking forward to the challenge. As I progress through school I can see new hope for my furture. I am already tired but it is a good tired. I will have to remember to take time for me so that I do not get overwhelmed. Nothing but potential lies ahead. I am so thankful for my future and the opportunities that are ahead.Momma Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07308516439359187703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532433052882401357.post-68403210468946145302010-08-25T17:01:00.000-07:002010-08-25T17:03:47.260-07:00Third SemesterThird Semester, not third trimester!!! General Ed classes are done and now I am able just to focus on my major: Culinary!!!!!!!! This is going to be a great yet very challenging semester. Projects to do and there is already so much info to retain. I sat in lecture for one class today for four hours, it is a good thing that I took notes or I would be in trouble. The one class I was worried about I am no longer.Momma Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07308516439359187703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532433052882401357.post-24254117408773831672010-08-04T05:28:00.000-07:002010-08-04T05:45:03.430-07:00SurgeryI had to stop and think about the number of surgeries that I have had, 8 of them and hopefully no more to come.<br /><br />The first surgery I had my tonsils removed when I was in the 3rd grade. After that I didn't have surgery for several years, actually until 1980 when I was in the Army and my legs got messed up so they had to do surgery on both of them, I had bilateral tibial compartment syndrome, even after the surgery I have some limitations, but I am so able to live life, so that hasn't really slowed me down.<br /><br />After I married my husband we decided to try and have a baby, the first pregnancy ended up being a tubal pregnancy so they had to do surgery, this one was the hardest surgery of all, one we wanted a child so badly and to come that far only to have our dreams taken away was hard, but what made it all the move difficult is I had just lost my brother 6 months before and then the morning after my surgery my sister came in to tell me she was pregnant, that was bitter sweet because I was excited for her but I was still morning the loss of our child. Then several months later I finally became pregnant again and gave birth to a beautiful little girl (who is now a mother herself) I had a tumor the whole time I was pregnant so 8 months after having her I had surgery to remove the beign tumore. I was fine for awhile and then I was just having to many issues so I ended up having a hysterectomy a couple of years later (best surgery ever!).<br /><br />I lived life a good long while until 2 and 1/2 years ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I had the first surgery a lumpectomy and a few weeks later they discovered there was more cancer so I had another lumpectomy. I healed from those surgeries and waited to make sure there weren't going to be any other complication and so about a year down the road I had the reconstruction surgery that I needed and so I now look 100% better. I just went to the doctor after finding another lump but thank God it was not anything to worry about, it was just caused from the previous surgeries. I do have an inflammed sternum and they said that would take awhile to heal so while I am waiting for that to heal I am living life, working and taking care of my family and our home.<br /><br />If I had to choose a surgery to have it would be a tummy tuck and I think then that I would call every thing complete. I am blessed to have healed from all that I have experienced, I have a full life, not limited to much so I am able to enjoy my life.Momma Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07308516439359187703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532433052882401357.post-31271939749411345462010-08-03T06:14:00.000-07:002010-08-16T20:27:28.037-07:00The First Time I Saw The OceanWonderous, Awesome and Magnificent are the words that come to mind for the first time that I saw the Ocean. These are words that I would still use today to describe the Ocean. I can stand on the beach and look and listen to the Ocean for hours. The sound of the Ocean reminds me of the power of the Holy Spirit. The power of the Ocean reminds me of the power of God.<br /><br /><br /><br />When I look at the Ocean I see the beauty and creativity of God and then I begin to think about all the sea creature and the amount of detail that was put into each one. How they are able to stay under water their entire lives and then there are those that come up for air ocassionally and then go back to explore the depths of the Ocean. The very thought of that just amazes me.<br /><br /><br /><br />Everytime I go to the Ocean it is like the first time. I love put my toes deep into the warm sand, feeling the sun upon my skin and closing my eyes and listening to the sound of the Ocean. There are many other sounds that you hear when you are at the Ocean. The birds, ships (boats) and of course people ( mostly children at play). Being at the Ocean is my favorite place to be. I hope to one day move so that I can go to the Ocean any time that I want to. I don't think it will ever lose its appeal. The Ocean is justMomma Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07308516439359187703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532433052882401357.post-62489163636870391362010-08-02T07:21:00.000-07:002010-08-02T07:32:25.404-07:00"What do you think about when you can't sleep?"I think about what is going on in my life, the victories that I am experiencing or would like to experience. I also think about the struggles that I am facing. There are times that I think about what I would like our next house to look life, how I would lay out the kitchen, the type of appliances that I would like to have such as a 6 burner gas stove, 2 ovens and of course granite <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">counter tops</span>. I would love for the bed room to be big enough for a seating area and the closet big enough to get dressed in. The Master bath to have a shower as big as the bathroom that I have now. Will this ever happen, it is possible.<br /><br />I think about my kids and what life has to offer them, I wonder how things will turn out for my son when he joins the military in a couple of years, will he be sent into combat, will he be one of the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">causalities</span>, will we join the ranks of other parents who have lost a child while they were protecting our freedom that our own government is trying to take away from us (this is a whole other topic). We could also be one of the parents whom our child returns home safely after defending our country. This is a basket of eggs that I don't want to open until it is time, but it does cross my mind. I also will lay there and wonder if I will ever have to fight cancer again, will I defeat it again or will it be what takes me home to be with the Lord.<br /><br />Mostly when I can't sleep I have a lot of questions that roll through my mind, sometimes I even come up with the answers to the questions and other times it causes me to have even more questions. Thankfully I can sleep 98% of the time. I enjoy my sleep!!!! It is amazing that I don't dream much, well anyway I don't remember my dreams if I do dream.<br /><br />I think alot about what my life is going to be like in the future, there are a lot of possibilities. Who knows I could end of being a famous Chef, a writer, or just an awesome grandmother and mom any of which is fine with me.Momma Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07308516439359187703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532433052882401357.post-65092390306827258752010-08-02T07:06:00.000-07:002010-08-02T07:16:26.524-07:00Papa is still in the picture!!There are still many things in my life that still suck, but Papa God is still with me, guiding me when I ask Him to--He is a much better driver than I am. I know that He always takes me to the right place. Trust!!! Why is trusting God such a hard thing to do, He loves us, wants the best for us and yet we still try to do things our way thinking somehow it will come out better than if we just stop and listen to what God has to say! Damn sometimes we are so hard headed!!<br /><br />Today I am choosing to slow down and listen to what Papa God has to say and then take my next step or steps. He has already had me get a new journal started and to really put my heart on those pages, things I won't put on this blog, because once on the net always on the net and I just don't wish to share everything with the world, somethings are better left private!! I don't want to look back 5 or 10 years from now and have regrets because of what I wrote on this blog. I do hope this blog makes an impact for someone in some way, but if not it is helping me to become a better writer and to know myself better. Between this and my journal I am laying my self bare. Hopefully soon I will be able to begin to write short stories and see where they take me. I am hope to allow my imagination full range in my writing of stories, in my blogs and journals I want to keep it real unless I am writing a trial run on a story, hopefully we will all be able to tell the difference, I will leave a hint or two.<br /><br />I hope if anyone reads my blog that you have the best day ever and can find some inspiration to overcome at least one hurdle in your life.<br /><br />Signing off: Momma TMomma Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07308516439359187703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532433052882401357.post-5726241025309402832010-07-31T19:35:00.001-07:002010-07-31T19:46:28.911-07:00Sometimes Life Just Sucks!!!!!!Ever had one of those days, I have and today was one of those and of course it involved family. Just when you think you have laid a good foundation in your kids they make <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">some</span> of the screwy decisions based on a lot of nonsense, listen to people that don't really have the all the wisdom they need to help them make right decisions or are giving them advise for their own selfish reasons and then there are husbands that have some areas that need healing and until that healing occurs life can just suck.<br /><br />I love them all and want things to work out but I am so stressed that I can feel it taking a toll on my body. I know to pray and turn it over but I still have to live with all that is going on around me right now. Frankly I wish I was standing out in the middle of a field with no one around me and I would love to just scream at the top of my lungs, let some of this frustration out.<br /><br />Right now it seems that no matter what I do or say it is not enough for someone, I think I would like a mini vacation all by myself. I knew life could be complicated, I have lived complicated I was just hoping that by this time in my life things would start smoothing out a bit, but it hasn't.<br /><br />One of the things that I am afraid of is that all of this stress and lack of security that are in my life right now will cause a chain reaction in my body and I could end up with cancer again. You know no one really takes all that into account when they want me to help them, or agree with them or when I am placed in the middle in order to protect someone. It is taking it's toll and I am tired, but I know I will wake up in the morning and I will be ready to fight this fight once again. Life is precious and I need to savor every moment even when it is hard.<br /><br />I am tired and I really need some sleep but I hate to go in, I am enjoying sitting here on my deck with the breeze and the peacefulness that is out here, when I go in I will have to deal with all the stress. Whoopee!!!!!!!!!!!<br /><br />I wonder what tomorrow will hold.Momma Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07308516439359187703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532433052882401357.post-10816081096730994152010-07-30T19:21:00.000-07:002010-07-30T19:38:26.218-07:00WorkingI am working a fast food job, cooking but it doesn't require any of the culinary skills that I have been learning in school, which is a little disheartening, but on the other hand this job works around my school schedule. I desire to be in a job that allows me to use my creative skills. I was suppose to have a job working with a Chef that I have known since High School, I even filled out all the paper work, I was suppose to just wait for them to call and wouldn't you know I have been waiting all summer, it is disappointing but I will rise above this and continue on. I have alot of other opportunities ahead of me and I will learn from each one of them.<br /><br />I am glad that after tomorrow I will have a day off and it is suppose to be nice so I will be hanging out in the pool, then I will be ready for the following week to hit it again at work, the only problem is the temperature is going to be really hot which makes the cook aisle that much hotter, it has already been well over a hundred and I come home soaked and exhausted. I remind myself often to be thankful that I have a job of anykind with the way our economy in our country is right now. I am also very grateful that I am able to continue to go to school and pursue my dream of owning my own restaurant. I am not sure how it is all going to come about but I know that it will. I am looking forward to what the future holds. I hope I come out of school being alot more creative with flavors than I am right now. In the meantime I will continue working on my skills.Momma Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07308516439359187703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532433052882401357.post-41409937247506096702010-07-29T17:16:00.000-07:002010-07-29T17:41:22.814-07:00Twists and TurnsLife takes many twists and turns and some days you don't know what to expect, other days you can tell where life is going to take you. We have had many things going on in our lives lately and we don't know what is going to happen from one day to the next, one day we can feel our hearts breaking and the next our hearts may be rejoicing. We have learned to place our trust where it belongs with God. I couldn't imagine living life and not having God to turn to with my successes and failures.<br /><br />Raising children has it twists and turns as well as marriage, but the twist and turns are defientely worth going through. We are walking through some right now but I know in the end that it will be worth it. Allowing your children to make their own mistakes is sometimes hard but so necessary, Lord knows that i have made enough of my own over the years and I have learned much from them. I think I have learned more from my mistakes than from my successes. I try to impart as much as the wisdom that I have gleaned over the years with my kids but ultimatley it is up to them whether they chose to use what I share with them or learn the hard way. I guess at times they have to walk through their own twists and turns.Momma Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07308516439359187703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532433052882401357.post-14935783720753284062010-07-28T19:11:00.000-07:002010-07-28T19:19:52.230-07:00Finding TimeIt is amazing the amount of time you can find to do things if you really want to. Blogging is something that I really want to do, I think it will benefit me throughout the rest of my life. I think it will help continue to improve my writing skills. I know that I want to write a cookbook, but I think that I might want to try my hand at writing another type of book as well. We will have to see what my future holds. I may need to experiment with some other writing prompts and see what kind of stories that I can come up with, who knows I might find a decent writer hiding within myself.<br /><br />I worked on one writing prompt but I was kind of pressed for time and didn't really put all that I had into it, so for the next one I think I will put more thought into it.<br /><br />I have always loved to write and have written in journals for years, some of which I have kept and others I placed in the trash when my life had moved in a different direction or the thoughts and feelings that I had shared within the pages I didn't want anyone else to read, they were private (between God and myself).<br /><br />As I am sitting here writting this blog I am already planning out my time so that I can begin to put my recipes together and see what I come up with, I know it will take time and planning since I am not out of school yet and my job doesn't allow my creative juices to flow, I just cook, but I am learning time management in the cook aisle and some other important lessons that will benefit later on.Momma Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07308516439359187703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532433052882401357.post-49961211627351242012010-07-28T06:50:00.000-07:002010-07-28T07:02:34.148-07:00Can It BeCan it be true they called and told me I didn't have to go into work until 10:00, extra time at home, so I did my house work for the day, figured out what to do for dinner, played with my granddaughter, talked to my daughter and now here I sit, able to blog.<br /><br />I am reading the book: Eat Pray Love which I am really am enjoying, because of my relationship with God there are a few things that I have to filter out but there is still alot to glean from her journey.<br /><br />During the last few years I have discovered the importance of having more of a relationship with God than doing all of the religious things that man expects from you, I went back to reading the Bible and am allowing the Holy Spirit to direct my steps, it is amazing how much more fulfilling my life is, how much more I love God's people instead of judging what they are doing, people have so much going on in their lives, they are holding on to so much woundedness that they just need someone to accept them right where they are and love them. I am working with alot of young people right now and they are doing things and making decisions that I don't agree with but I still love them treat them with respect and they come and talk to me about things and if I was being religious none of this would be happening.<br /><br />I have learned so much about freedom in God, love and life and that trusting God takes me so much further in life than trying to fix things yourself So, I have decided to get a tatoo on my wrist written in Hebrew that says Freedom, Live and Trusting God.<br /><br />I am so greatful for where my life is going and the people that I am sharing my life with.<br /><br />God is so good!!!Momma Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07308516439359187703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532433052882401357.post-90254277338982828722010-07-27T19:16:00.000-07:002010-07-27T19:26:22.140-07:00The Journey ContinuesI thought I would have a lot of time to blog this summer but I was wrong. I am working pretty much full time, plus still taking care of the house, laundry, cooking, and all that comes with that. I had more to do this summer because my husband was working in New York for 9 weeks, I was blessed to be able to go to New York for about 3 weeks to work with him, but then I was back home taking care of things waiting for him to come home, he is here now with us, but he will be leaving again in a few weeks to go work in New York once again. I now have less than a month until classes start again. I am really looking forward to starting these next set of classes they will prepare me more for my future. I am loving school but I look forward to the day I graduate and can start putting the finishing touches on opening our deli.<br /><br />My daughter and I dream all the time about what the deli will look like, what foods that we want to serve, specials that we want to have, do we want to serve wine and beer or do we want to just serve tea, coffee, soda, etc.... I know that by the time we are ready we will have made up our minds. We are still discussing our color schemes, what we want our uniforms to look like. In this area we are designing our T-shirts for our employees. Shay and I are going to wear Chef's uniforms with a twist. We also want to use the freshest ingredients possible!!!<br /><br />Well it has felt good to put my thoughts down and I hope that I can continue to blog.Momma Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07308516439359187703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532433052882401357.post-54901929733795752442010-07-04T16:36:00.000-07:002010-07-04T16:56:23.839-07:00Scare and HeartbrokenWe thought I was having a reoccurence of breast cancer but thank God it is just a lump caused by the previous surgery and my sternum is inflammed, lot of stress caused by not knowing, but thankfully I can continue on with the goals that I have in place.<br /><br />I am heartbroken because of a decision someone close to me is making and because of something that they said, I couldn't believe it came out of their mouth but it did and now I have to figure out what I am going to do with it and how I am going to address it. I would love to write it all out here on this blog, but as we all know what we put on these blogs is forever out there and I don't want to harm the person that has broken my heart. When they said what they did to me today I just wanted to sit down and die. I told the Lord I was tired, but giving up is not what He wants for me and since I am a fighter I will continue on, but part of me is so tired and I would love to just give up but I won't. Maybe later I will sit down and have a good cry, sometimes crying is a good cleanser. I just shared with my husband what is going on and that helped, but still my heart is heavy, Oh God please intervene before it is to late, thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!Momma Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07308516439359187703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532433052882401357.post-3452743423263468822010-05-30T15:07:00.000-07:002010-05-30T15:12:27.486-07:00BoredI think everyone faces times when they are bored and I am facing a time of that in my life right now. My husband is out of town and has been for a few weeks, I have read so much during school that I don't really feel like reading, and my job doesn't start for a few more days, I can only clean so much and I can't afford to go do anything so here I sit on this stupid computer bored out of my mind so to speak. It is getting ready to rain so I can't go out and swim and all myn friends are busy. Sometimes life just sucks!!!!!!!!!!!<br /><br />I wish I would have taken a summer class on line then I could have been concentrating on something productive. Well before I go on and on about this subject I will end it before it ends up depressing me, surely I can find something construtive to do. I hope!!!Momma Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07308516439359187703noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532433052882401357.post-88290447219741486562010-05-25T07:24:00.000-07:002010-05-25T09:21:58.691-07:00Chicago 2010<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qVBsLFTpLKY/S_vf37sBNAI/AAAAAAAAAD4/RfreLSaSfzY/s1600/Chicago+Trip+2+056.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 150px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 200px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5475215924007089154" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qVBsLFTpLKY/S_vf37sBNAI/AAAAAAAAAD4/RfreLSaSfzY/s200/Chicago+Trip+2+056.jpg" /></a><br /><div><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qVBsLFTpLKY/S_vfgdhNYAI/AAAAAAAAADw/Y6IuZli8cGU/s1600/Chicago+Trip+2+020.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 200px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 150px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5475215520771694594" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qVBsLFTpLKY/S_vfgdhNYAI/AAAAAAAAADw/Y6IuZli8cGU/s200/Chicago+Trip+2+020.jpg" /></a> <a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qVBsLFTpLKY/S_vd9jV491I/AAAAAAAAADY/2EnLa4-XvnY/s1600/Chicago+Trip+2+005.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 150px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 200px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5475213821527783250" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qVBsLFTpLKY/S_vd9jV491I/AAAAAAAAADY/2EnLa4-XvnY/s200/Chicago+Trip+2+005.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><div><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qVBsLFTpLKY/S_veud2kGQI/AAAAAAAAADo/d4uW50daj2Q/s1600/Chicago+Trip+2+006.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 200px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 150px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5475214661867804930" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qVBsLFTpLKY/S_veud2kGQI/AAAAAAAAADo/d4uW50daj2Q/s200/Chicago+Trip+2+006.jpg" /></a> These are just a few of the pictures from my trip to Chicago. I didn't take any of the trade show that we went to just of the site seeing that we did the day before we left. Chicago is a beautiful city, it reminds me of New York. It has a great park, awesome shopping and of course the lake is beautiful. I love the sky line of the city, the architecture and the people are friendly. Chicago like New York has a lot of culture which is very refreshing for me. We walked all around the city, ate at a great place called the House of Blues on our last night. There are a lot of fabulous places to eat.</div><div>We were all exhausted after walking the city on Sunday, but it was worth every step that we took. I am looking forward to going back again, but this time with my husband, we love exploring cities together.</div><div></div><div>Shay and I <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">caravaned</span> to Chicago with some others from our culinary classes. During this trip we bonded and forged friendships, which is really awesome because we have several classes together next semester. We plan on meeting over the summer as well. Shay and I came back on our own yesterday, stopping at a huge Harley Davidson store on our way back. We made good time and had great weather for traveling. Loved the trip but I am glad to be home. We all plan to go to another convention next year, we just have to decided where we want to go.</div><div></div><div>I am so glad that I have chosen this field, even if it is later in life. I am learning so much and Chicago just added to my education.<br /><br /><br /></div><div><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_qVBsLFTpLKY/S_veOnKj_ZI/AAAAAAAAADg/Hp3vucaSvYQ/s1600/Chicago+Trip+2+006.jpg"></a></div><div><br /></div><div></div><div><br /></div><div></div><div><br /></div><div></div><div><br /></div><div></div><div><br /></div><div></div><div><br /></div><div></div><div><br /></div><div></div><div><br /></div><div></div><div><br /></div><div></div><div><br /></div><div><br /><br /><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div></div></div></div>Momma Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07308516439359187703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532433052882401357.post-33800362451059280022010-05-19T17:03:00.000-07:002010-05-20T06:08:28.294-07:00New York Here I ComeI am off to one of my favorite places, New York!!!! I still have a few weeks before I fly out and I will fly in and see the skyline of my favorite city. By the time I arrive my husband will have been in New York for over three weeks, so I will really be glad to see him. I love being in the city, the architecture is amazing, the skyline is breath taking, especially at night.<br /><br /><br /><br />When you are in the city you can't help but feel like you are experiencing the world with all the different cultures that are represented there. Foods from so many different countries. The people all have their different customs and languages and yet there are similarities as well. I could just wander the streets in the city for hours, looking in the different shops, neighborhoods and restaurants. In the city no matter what you are wearing you are in fashion, it is the one place in this world where you are allowed to be yourself. You can walk down one block and you will see people dressed to the hilt and others will have pink, green or some other color of hair, covered in tatoos and they each belong. Going to the village is a great place to see people express there art, through paintings, sculpture or even jewelry. There is just so much to see.<br /><br />One of the things that is great to do is to go through the museums or even the botanical gardens as there are several to choose from. Having choices for different broadway shows is incredible. There is one restaurant in the city where the food is absolutely amazing, we ate there a couple of years ago before we went to a show featuring Martin Short, the name of the restaurant is Bon 45. We had the most amazing meal, our waiter was absolutely the best at what he did and I had the best glass of white wine I have ever had to date. It was a great experience.<br /><br />New York has great bagels and the shopping is something that you just have to experience. We lived in New York seven years ago and while I enjoyed it I love it more when I can just go and visit because I appreciate all that it has to offer so much more. Although there are things about it that I miss because here in Missouri there is just not a lot to do. I know that eventually we will end up moving, I know it won't be until I finish Culinary School and I hope that it ends up being somewhere warm.<br /><br />While in the City I will blog more about what I experience this trip and maybe post a couple of pictures. I am so looking forward to going and now to begin to decide what I am going to take with me.<br /><br />I do know that while I am there I will be visiting some different deli's to get more ideas of what we want to do when we open our own place. This is going to be an incredible trip.Momma Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07308516439359187703noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8532433052882401357.post-89791726251272026122010-05-18T12:17:00.000-07:002010-05-18T12:36:57.625-07:00My old room was:My old room was done in antique furniture, you know the kind with the huge mirror and vanity and drawers on either side. The wood was dark, mahogony in color and then there was a chest of drawers with 2 doors on the top that opened and that is where I keep all of my specials treasures: my journals, perfumes, favorite doll and of course special pieces of jewelry from my grandmothers. My great grandmother gave me powders that came in these metal cans with an opening on top full of small holes for the powder to come out and then it had a small metal lid that fit over the opening. My bed was an old wrought iron metal bed with a feather mattress. My bedspread and curtain where white battenburg lace and I had battenburg lace pillows. My room was the perfect place for me to get away to. It was my safe place, the place where I could go and dream, I could be anyone that I wanted to be. I could be rich or poor. I could be a doctor or someones wife. I could go to my room and write all of my wonderful stories. One day I would be a pilot and fly all over the world, the next day I might choose to be an actress and make movies in exotic places. That was the wonderful thing about my old room no matter what was going on around me I could go into my room and dream about all the possibilities. Some days I even dreamed I was a princess with the crown and everything.<br /><br />My room was an important place for me, for you see out in the real world bad things had happened to me and I needed a place to go to be safe to escape all of the ugliness that I had been introduced to. I needed to be someone different from who I was and that is why my room was such a special place for me. I can still remember the smell of my room, the smell of the wood, you know it had that old smell. I can still remember the smell of the powders. I threw away all of my old journals because they were full of pain and ugliness and I didn't want anyone to read them.<br /><br />Today I have a new room and it is just as special. It has new furniture and the colors in my room are gold, coral and some bronze and neutral colored carpet and walls that match and my journals well they are all over the house. I write in different ones about all kinds of things, these days I don't care who reads my journals they are full of hopes, dreams and the healing from all the pain I expereinced as a child. My new room I share with my husband and it is a place of peace and of love. I still go to my room and dream about all the possibilities that are before me and I know that I can be whoever I want to be, the possibilities are endless. Today I can go into my room and dream about the goals that I am setting for myself knowing that they are attainable. Today when I go into my room I take myself and I stay myself, I don't have to pretend to be someone else. Oh in this life you will always experience pain but now the pain doesn't control me anymore, today it propels me towards continued healing.<br /><br />For those of you who have just read the story, it is a story, with some truth mixed in.Momma Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07308516439359187703noreply@blogger.com0