Interpretation of Slang Story

The young man was low man in the army and he got drunk after dark. He kept calling everyone and telling everyone to slow down when they wanted to get him to finish his story. He was a real silly person and everyone knew he was going to have a real bad morning because he was going to throw up all that he drank. All night long he kept falling on the dance floor acting like a real and people were tired of his of his and they were just relaxing at the bar, as the night wore on you could tell he was really drinking because everyone became his brother and all the ladies were nice and he was asking perfect strangers it they had drugs. Well he threw-up on the way home and the had to be carried into the house, he was really hallucinating because someone gave him some drugs and he was going on and on like a . He was acting really crazy and well he was acting like he was really tough. Damn he was farting as they took him into his room to throw him on his bed, then he started telling everyone to go away and then in the next breat he would ask them if any one had any meat. He keep asking everyone if they had and crystal meth, say man it will make you feel , damn and for sure. He finally passed out and everyone left.
He got up the next morning and his hair was all over the place and his breath smelled like shit. He looked at himself in the mirrow and thought to himself I am a real fool. Dame, I threw up in car on the way home last night, that was sick. I thought I was better than that. He looked around his neck to see a lot of gold and diamonds and wondered where that had come from, then he said to himself that is just crazy. He also noticed that his fake tan was fading.
He decided that he would go back to the bar that night