Tuesday, April 5, 2011

MS and My Oldest Daughter

Life is stressful enough when your going to college and raising a teenager and then you get a phone call from one of your other children and they are going to the hospital, so you leave class early to go be with you kid, as they check her over, doing blood work, a CT Scan and then an MRI and they come in and tell you MS, not at all what you are expecting, your thinking a pinched nerve something of that nature, so you go home thinking your prepared for the next few doctors visits and then you run into a moron that shouldn't even be practicing medicine and they just cause your child an extreme amount of stress and of course my blood pressure is rising because I really want to tell the doctor what I think of them, but I won't add that to what my kid is already dealing with, so we leave, we make the best of the situation, but then I get a call yesterday and she is not doing well, her symptoms are worsening and so off we go again to the ER and thank God we get the same doctor from our first visit to the ER, she is amazing at the way she handles my daughter, helping her to calm down, she goes an consults with the Neurologists, they increase one of her medication and put her on soemthing for all the dizziness she is experiencing, all that they can do right now is to manage the symptoms until we go to the neurologists appointment, which we are still waiting on. It is hard to see your child deal with all of this, it is even harder when ti hasn't really sunk in that your child has MS, especially because we don't know what to expect, what treatment they will deem the best for her, with this disease there are so many unknowns because everyone is different. I am having a hard time processing this, it still doesn't seem real for me. The doctor did tell my daughter to get into a support group, I am hoping that will help her. I may need to find one myself, maybe between my journaling and blogging I will find my way. Because I know my child so well I think we are in for a bit of a bumpy ride. God give me strength and wisdom. Iwant to yell and scream but it won't change or fix anything but maybe then I would really feel something, right now I feel numb inside.

Thursday, January 13, 2011


How important are goals? They are extremely important. How will you ever reach one if you never set any. How will you know what your potential is without setting goals. Without goals you will just be living life hoping that you end up somewhere (somewhere good), of course that isn't always the case. One of the goals I set a year and a half ago was to go to culinary school and here I am a year and a half later, half way through.

I set a goal for this year to lose weight and hear I am on day 1 of a new healthy way of eating, it's not about a diet it is about getting healthy and to be healthy you have to eat healthy and a benefit of that is weight loss.

My goals for this year lose the weight and finish two more semesters of school. My goal with in finishing school is to come out with a 3.8 GPA, this last semester I had a 4.0 so my goal is so possible.

I am going to set down in the next few days and set some other goals for myself for this year. At least this way I am not just existing hoping life happens to me, I am living my life reaching for my dreams. I will add some of my other goals to this blog and at the end of the year I will update on how I have progressed.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Books Picked Up

A week from today I start my 4th semester of college, that means that 3 of them are behind me. I am looking forward to this semester. I have 2 baking classes and a chocolate class, these types of classes are not stressful for me they are fun and allow for my creativity to come out. Thank God last semester is behind me--I hope to never experience that much stress again. It was more stressful than my bought with cancer.

I have my notebooks organized and I have been looking through my books and am excited to learn some new skills. I love baking breads so to learn some new tricks and new types of breads is exciting to me. I have my pens and pencils gathered, back pack is ready now to place the books in that I will need for my first day of class.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

4 Years and Counting and of course Changes

I went to the Oncologist on the 29th of December, blood work and x-rays. No sign of the cancer returning and this is without chemo or radiation. I haven't done the best when eating to stay healthy, exercise or even the right mental attitude, but each day I get up and try again. I pray and trust that God will guide me, but it is still up to me to follow His guidance. Some days I do well and other days I fall short and thank God he never gives up on me. Thank God I can continue on the path that lays before me. I have the chance to finish school, see my granddaughter grow and change every day. My husband and I actually have some plans for our future. We have also asked my mother in-law to move in with us. Of course she needs some time to think about it, she has lived by herself for a long while now, but I hope she chooses to move in with so that she won't be alone, she will still have her privacy. I would look forward to being able to spend more time with her. Then we are waiting to see how things are going to turn out for and with my father in-law. At this point the only thing we can do is pray and encourage him and of course let him know that we are here for him. Life sure has a lot of turns.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Who Am I

I am God's Child
I am a wife
I am a mother
I am a birthmother
I am a grandmother
I am a daughter
I am a daughter in-law
I am a friend
I am a student
I am a listener (confidant)
I am a writer
I am a survivor (of breast cancer, abuse and other things)
I am a hard worker
I am honest (with myself and others)
I am there for my friends
I am serious
I am spontaneous
I am a homeowner
I am confident
I am always up to a challenge
I am straight forward
I am young at heart
I am imaginative
I am a great cook
I am optimistic
I am always looking at the glass half full
I am writing a book
I am a lover of music
I am a lover of life
I am who I am

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Made it out of the house...

After being sick for a week I was finally able to venture out of the house, it felt really good to be out of bed, dressed with a little make up on to cover up the fact that I am still a little pale. My daughter and granddaughter joined me for my adventure today. We shopped (mostly looking), had lunch with my husband, my brother in-law and my father in-law and then Shay and I were off to shop some more, mainly bought supplies for next semester. The only thing that I have left to do is to pick up my books on Monday, find out when my work study begins and I am ready for the semester to begin.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

My Journey Continues

I have had a break from school for about two weeks now and one week I spent in bed sick. I have gotten my office and desk organized for next semester which starts in two weeks. Like every semester I was ready for the last one to end but now I am ready for the next one to begin. This will be a very different semester than the last, a more relaxed one for sure. I have two baking classes and a chocolate class and I am looking forward to those. My other classes are harder but necessary.

As with anything in life things are subject to change and both Shay and I are ready to live somewhere warmer and in a place that offers more things to do, so our business may get opened up in another state before everything is said and done. The one thing that will keep in Missouri is my parents and my mom in-law because they will need us for a while longer, but alas that is also part of the journey.

This semester I will be doing work study so I believe that it will bring with it new opportunities and I am sure I will learn things that I am not even expecting. I am just thankful to have a journey to continue.

In the next week I will be buying additional school supplies and getting my notebook ready. Even with all of the challenges that I have faced this semester I have gained knowledge that I would not of had and I know that it will profit me as I continue.

This is all I have today, so until the next time.